The Maddelas

From Amanda/Mandy:

Last summer, Joseph proposed.

And so did I. 💁‍♀️

Let me write the real stuff in the beginning, and I’ll end with the mushy stuff. I won’t judge if you scroll down, or scroll right past all of it.

It’s tempting to write the fairy tale version of our love story. (Don’t get me wrong, we are very much in love.) However, fairy tales leave out important human contexts.

Joseph and I discussed marriage at length. We discussed our spiritual beliefs, our families, our mental health histories, child-rearing, so much. So when it came time that I needed health insurance to build my business, getting married was an honest, explicitly stated discussion. So I asked if we could elope. He gave a very relaxed, “Yeah, of course babe. Anything you need.” That reaction was because we never made it a secret. I wasn’t interested in making him unsure if I would say “yes”. He knew. That’s just the way we are.

💒💒💒
Okay here’s the mushy stuff.

Despite being in a bit of a rush to get the paperwork in order, Joseph was determined to maintain tradition and do a full proposal. This, among thousands of others, is a reason why I love him.

We drove to Big Sur, one of our favorite places in the world. It was going to be a quick trip. Our incredible photographer, Stanley Wu, didn’t even charge a travel fee to drive up with us (please hire Stanley Wu Photography for everything). We got a few hours of sleep, and woke up bright and early to head to Lovers Point. (I was so tired from family visiting that I didn’t even do my hair…I have regrets.) Because we’d had an explicit discussion, I knew exactly what was happening, but that didn’t make it any less romantic that Joseph had chosen a special location, and had made special plans.

As we walked, and giggled (which you can see evidence of in the photos), my anticipation grew. Joseph starting talking. He said sweet things he had been saying to me our entire relationship. The proposal was merely an affirmation of deep and loving things we try to say to each other every day, not a one-time occurrence of kindness. And then, to my sincere surprise, a Jazz saxophone player showed up, and we danced to our favorite jazz standards. And we kissed. And we cried.

THEN IT WAS MY TURN.

Joseph is so traditional, but my feminist education and general hard headedness always gets the best of me. I was going to propose, too. He let me, which makes him incredible.

Long story short, I took Joseph on the Monterey Bay Aquarium Otter Experience. I was convinced I could get an otter to hold a ring, or maybe the aquarium cleaners to show it from inside the tank. That was a hard no from Monterey Bay. However, we had a great time learning about the otters, and especially the 90 foot window into the Aquarium’s massive tank.

We ended at the cottages we stayed at on one of our very first trips together to Carmel. Joseph’s dad had bought us a bottle of Veuve, but we had forgotten glasses. Our bubble bath was very cold. We both forgot running shoes. But nothing mattered. We were in love, and we were engaged.

#maddelawedding

👰🤵